Top Ten Ways to Get Your Man to Embrace Health

There are more and more studies every day about the need for Boomers to stay in shape. We are all aware of the general benefits of healthy eating, exercise, and stress reduction. Everyone is in agreement, right? Apparently that is not the case. Some adults engage in behavior that flies in the face of common sense, and I increasingly hear my friends talk about it.

Apparently it is not uncommon for a woman to be worried because the man she loves is "out of shape" or has a serious or chronic medical condition and does not appear to want help. What should she do if he is reluctant to see a doctor, take medication, or undergo treatment?

Here are some first steps for those who care about the health of their loved one, whether or not they care about their own health.

Get rid of unhealthy foods and drinks around the house and bring up the subject (again) of his staying away from toxins like alcohol, tobacco, drugs, if he is exposed to them.

Put obstacles between your partner and the food, e.g., hide the chips, put healthful snacks at the front of the refrigerator, put the LifeCycle or weights between the family room and kitchen.

If dining out, call ahead to order healthful meals that can be ready when you arrive or select restaurants that can prepare low-fat, low-cholesterol meals with no drinks and no delay.

Turn off the TV and go for a walk for 30 minutes after dinner. Make that a special time for the two of you to be together.

If he takes medications or vitamins, buy a container that has built-in reminders, put his pills in the compartments, then peek occasionally to see if the compartments are empty as they should be.

Ensure that everyone has the opportunity to get eight or nine hours of sleep nightly in a room empty of distractions and stressors. Sleeping less than eight hours a night may stimulate your appetite.

Make appointments for annual physical exams, routine dental checkups, and other visits to health and fitness providers, months in advance and then keep them.

Call or email the physician in advance to alert him or her to special concerns or worrisome habits your partner might have, and ask the physician to keep that input confidential.

Accompany your partner to the medical or dental visit and offer to go in to see the provider (so that you can verify what he says and add important information, if asked).

Reward appropriate health-seeking or illness-treating behavior with your comments and your actions. Remember what our moms told us in the 60's (and probably used on our dads): "Accentuate the positive".

If the above suggestions do not work, and if your partner persists in avoiding medical exams, engages in unhealthy behaviors, or voices his lack of concern about his health or life, there may be more going on than simply his being stubborn.

According to Russ Ricci, MD, co-chair of the Mental Health channel for myDNA.com's Medical Advisory Board, "Often men have a hard time recognizing or admitting that they are depressed and need help. Keep you eyes open for sad or empty feelings in a partner, feelings of worthlessness or helplessness. Do you see changes in sleep or appetite? Are there physical symptoms like headache or backache with no obvious 'physical' cause? And, if there are thoughts of suicide, especially if there are guns in the home, be sure to get help right away."

And if the man you love does not listen to your suggestions about getting and staying fit or seeking and following advice of a health care provider, do not "go it alone." Talk to his physician, or at least talk to yours, about what step to take next. Good luck.

Pamela R. Yoder, MD, PhD, FACOG

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